Building an orgasm can be very hot! and is a wonderful way to create intensity in your body and make your experience last longer either alone or with your partner. It also helps to build stamina so you will last longer. This is great for men who may experience EE, (early ejaculation).
Continue reading
Building An Orgasm For A Mind Blowing Experience
What To Do To Have Multiple Female Orgasms
One of the biggest differences that men and women have sexually is that women can have several female orgasms. What that means is that after a man has an orgasm, he usually has to wait a little while before having another one. But many women have the ability to have another orgasm right away. Continue reading
Variety Is the Ingredient For Keeping Sex Fun And Satisfying
As humans we have our flaws and one is that we are creatures of habit. We have a tendency to gravitate towards what we like and repeat it, repeat it and repeat it, until we can’t stand it anymore. It’s difficult to stop doing what once worked, but if it’s not working then you want to try something different, or all those moves, kiss, kiss, rub, rub and suck, suck will suddenly make you cringe with their familiarity.
Variety is such an important part of your sexual relationship. Variety will keep your sex life from becoming boring and predictable. Imagine having the same meal every day. You would grow tire of it very quickly. Variety also helps maintain passion, keep sex exciting and help prevent infidelity. Continue reading
4 Things A Relationship Must Have For Better Sex For A Lifetime
Has your sexual relationship been as exciting and satisfying as you would like it to be? Are you seeking ideas to spice things up? Has your sex life become boring and routine? These are common problems among couples, however, they can be easily improved. The following guideline will assist in you in gaining enhanced pleasure, more excitement, increased sexual satisfaction, better orgasms and deeper intimacy.
1. Avoid Complacency
Complacency in a relationship is dangerous and ultimately leads to the loss of passion and desire. Before you know it, your sex life is a boring routine. It’s very easy, especially for those of you in long-term relationships to settle into the comfort zone that security and commitment provides. Having great sex requires continuous, mindful effort from both you and your partner. Both must stay committed in your efforts to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. Your sexual relationship must be a #1 priority. Most couples find the focus on the relationship ends up on the back burner due to hectic paced lifestyles. Sex often becomes something squeezed in whenever there is available time. Making time for quality sex is essential. The more often you partake in sex the deeper your desire will grow. The relationship must be nurtured to keep passion and excitement alive.
2. Promote Spontaneity, Adventure and Variety
It is essential to add spice to your sex life! Dare to be adventurous and spontaneous. This will keep your relationship alive, interesting and exciting. Entice your lover with surprises and games. Engage in sexual activities, technique and positions that are unique for you as a couple.
3. Deepen Intimacy
Sex without intimacy eventually becomes shallow and unfulfilling. Intimacy must be nurtured for a relationship to survive. The deeper your intimacy is in your relationship the more explosive and satisfying the sex will be. Intimacy combined with explosive mind-blowing sex will cement your relationship with your lover in a very powerful way.
4. Communication
The most important element for relationships and great sex is good communication. When sexual needs and desires aren’t communicated, satisfaction diminishes. Be open, direct and honest about what you need touched, when and how. Demonstrate if needed what level of pressure and speed you prefer. Let your partner know what words you need to hear and when and how to say them. Discuss the scenarios, techniques and positions that work best for your satisfaction. Talk about your sexual fantasies. Share with them what works and what doesn’t work for your arousal and pleasure.
Let’s face it, keeping your relationship strong is a huge challenge. If you find you don’t have the time to be creative and spend hours every week finding new ways to surprise and be romantic. Then I recommend some of theses books that help to rekindle relationships while others add even more fun, passion and joy to them. Whether you’re dating, are newlyweds or have been married for years, these books will help bring you closer together and keep it that way.
The Erogenous Zones

- Image by Te55 via Flickr
Do you know an erogenous zone is an area on the human body that has heightened sensitivity which when stimulated results in a sexual response? This could include any and all areas of the body, however the majority of men and woman have common erogenous zones. Continue reading
Sensual Massage For Greater Intimacy In You Relationship
Giving each other and every part of the body loving, sensual attention creates an ecstatic reverberation in each cell of the body. You will radiate from your core and be open to connect with your partner in ways that are deep, electric and unforgettable. Such a profound sensual experiences deserves to be done with care and focus.
Massage is an especially good thing for men to focus on. Women often need the kind of attention it gives them to feel comfortable with proceeding on to more intimate activities. The nurturing, caring-for aspect of romance is extremely important between you and your partner. You will have more interesting and intense erotic experiences if you’re involved on all levels with each other. Touch and scent are the best ways of really opening some of those deeper levels.
Step One: Make an Erotic Massage Date
I invite you to make a date with your lover to share this massage with you, and together dedicate generous time for it. Plan for at least three hours to fully savor the experience.
Step Two: Set up your Sexy Space
Create your space ahead of time to get the most out of your time together. Attend to each of the following details. You can create the space together, or one of you can set up the room as a delightful gift for you both.
Heat the room to a cozy warm temperature.
Turn off the phones and minimize other distractions.
Choose Your Music. Music is optional, although highly recommended.
Set mood lighting. Massage by candlelight is the most beautiful, but take safety precautions.
Put out your massage oil or lotion.
Step Three: Go Deep Into Your Role
What to do if you are giving:
Breathe deeply along with your partner. Give total focus to your partner, and stay present. Tap into your sensitivity.
Pay attention to your lover’s responses. Tune in and notice what your lover likes or doesn’t like. If you get insecure, say positive affirmations to yourself. Like “I’m a great masseuse,” or “My consciousness is in my hands, and I know just what to do with them.”
Be creative and make giving fun for yourself. Enjoy looking at and touching your lover’s body. Ask your lover for feedback as you go. And say, “thank you when you get it.
Move slowly. Except when your lover asks for something faster and limit chitchat.
What to do if you are receiving:
Totally receive 100%. Don’t try and give anything back while you receive. Simply lie back, and enjoy it. Breathe. The more you breathe the more fully you will feel.
Give feedback. It’s your body and your massage, so say what you want, or don’t want. Harder or softer, faster or slower. You can give feedback with your voice, with hand gestures and body language. Let yourself go. Surrender to whatever you are feeling.
Step Four: Savor the Afterglow
After the massage, you may want to give your partner time with herself /himself or you may want to snuggle together for a while. Notice how transformed you feel from when you started? You’ll likely say “I needed that.” Feel the new energy you have created in your immediate environment. Let it move through you and you through it. Enjoy your intimate connection and the good feelings it has generated in your bodies. That connection is a little bit of heaven. Say “thank you” and express what you are feeling for one another. Let the afterglow of this massage last for hours or even days.
If you have not done so already I invite you to grab your Free Sensual Massage Guide for more details about how to give a sensual massage.
Better Sex Positions For Fun & Exciting Sex
Positions are important in the enjoyment and fulfillment of your sexual experience. They have a direct impact upon the pleasurable sensations you’ll experience, level of intimacy and intensity of orgasm. A satisfying, fun and exciting experience generates a sense of adventure and pure enjoyment in each other.
Positions range from tender lovemaking to the exciting and adventurous while others are suited for getting down to the business of raw carnal fucking. The information provided below is strictly a guideline. Have fun with them and invent some of your own unique positions!
Positions to Rock HER World
Generally speaking, women prefer positions that feel intimate and give them a connection with their partner. They enjoy stimulation of the clitoris and occasionally deep penetration.
Goddess Warrior
Being on top, a woman can take complete control. Having her hips in the correct position allows her to satisfy all her needs. She can lean forward a bit and by rocking back and forth on the base of the penis or pubic bone, both the clitoris and G-spot is stimulated. Men enjoy this position as it gives him a break from performing and he can watch her play and reach orgasm.
Missionary Moves
This position offers women closeness and intimacy. Adjustments during sex in this position, the clitoris and G-spot can be stimulated. This is great for men also, as it allows them a great deal of penetration and they feel in control and powerful.
Positions to Rock HIS World
Generally, men like positions that allow them to thrust, achieve deep penetration and have visual stimulation. However, when you engage in this type of position he is likely to reach orgasm very quickly, so it is best to pleasure the woman first.
Doggie Style
This position is well like by most men as it allows him to thrust with complete ease, reach deep penetration and the view is a complete turn on for him. Women can make this position more satisfying by using a vibrator on her clitoris as he thrusts.
Reverse Goddess Warrior
Men love the view as a woman straddles him backwards. He lies face up (as in Goddess Warrior) while she sits on top facing his feet. She leans forward with her hands on his legs for balance.
Fun Positions for Two
Counter Top Sex
This position is best when both of you are highly aroused and ready for action. The woman sits on a tabletop, bathroom sink, countertop or any stable surface. It provides the face-to-face intimacy she desires and incites passion quickly for both partners. Having her legs wrapped around his waist, he enjoys the sensations of deep penetration. This position allows each of you to stimulate breasts and nipples along with deep intimate kissing.
C’mon In
This is a modified rear entry position. The woman lay’s on her stomach with legs spread and the man enters her vaginally from behind. This is a stimulating position for both partners as it gives the man control, power and freedom to thrust along with visual arousal. The woman can use her fingers or a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris while he thrusts. Alternately, the man can slide his hand underneath her and stimulate her clitoris for her.
This position allows the man to stay inside, slowing pumping while stretching his entire body on top of hers. This is great for nuzzling of ears and moments of close intimacy before he pulls himself up to start thrusting again. To stimulate the G-spot, the man can pull upwards a little, place his hands near her shoulders and slide his hips forward with his hips upwards a bit while still inside of her and “riding high”. She can intensify his pleasure by tightening her vagina around his penis.
This position is also good for anal sex. All the same moves apply except the man will be penetrating the anus instead of the vagina. Anal sex when performed properly can allow her to achieve both a clitoral and G-spot orgasm simultaneously. The tightness of the anus around the penis shaft will give both partners very intense pleasure.
Let’s Get Hot & Spicy
The Leg Lock
The woman raises her legs and wraps them around the waist of the man, locking her feet together. The higher she can raise her legs, the deeper the penetration. Access to the vagina is easier for the man and locking her legs around her partner the woman can contribute to his leverage by squeezing him close r or just holding him with her thighs. Many men find the feel of their partner’s legs around them to be a real turn on. One significant drawback of this position is that some men find it results in hurried orgasms. You may find it beneficial to use this position at the end of your lovemaking..
Hot Spots
-on the kitchen counter
-bent over the table
-in the shower
-on the sofa
-on the steps
-against the wall
-hood of the car
-or anywhere you can possibly think of and get away with it!
For more great sex ideas to help keep sex from getting routine and boring, check out 500 Lovemaking Tips
Penis Psychology for Women
I really enjoyed this article and it’s long but, it covers the little known and even less admitted thoughts, urges and motivations of the human male. Even though the descriptions are a bit stereotypical, the underlying truth still prevails.
Written by Doctor Andy – In an ongoing informational about the human sexual condition. These articles are written especially for the Kristen Archives and their readers and may be reproduced in other forums as long as the information is not edited and the author information and email address remains in tact.
A Truth: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.
You’ve probably heard this statement connected to a prominent self-help author and in discussions about gender relationships.
The reason you have heard this statement is that it is absolutely true and describes a human condition that has been glossed over since the beginning of time.
Ninety-nine percent of women have no idea what goes through a man’s mind on a regular basis. Women think they know, but if they could crawl inside the average male’s mind and read their thoughts un-hindered, they’d be shocked beyond belief.
You’ve heard woman say, “He’s such a pig.” Usually related by an ex-girlfriend or wife about their relationship with an ex-boyfriend for ex-husband. What has happened here is that she’s actually gotten a glimpse of the “private” man, the man that we all are, but that most of us can conceal, or subdue.
A Truth: Every heterosexual male looks at a woman as a sex object.
This truth applies to men from the priesthood all the way down the social ladder to rapists and thieves. There is not one heterosexual male on the face of the earth, that when they see a woman that appeals to their senses, doesn’t imagine that woman as a sex partner.
When a male is gazing dreamily at a female while sitting on a plane, train, or at a stoplight, he isn’t just looking into space. What he’s doing is fantasizing about pumping his seed into her while she’s screaming for him to “do it harder!”
Of course this condition is part of nature. The urge to reproduce is a basic part of our human condition and the normal male is programmed by nature to “need” to reproduce. So when he sees a likely female his mind automatically turns to thoughts of reproduction.
Women have been programmed by nature to be the nurturer of life, to have maternal instincts if you will. They enjoy sex, but they aren’t programmed with the “need” to reproduce like men are. When a woman gazes dreamily at a man, she isn’t usually thinking about him humping away at her, she’s gauging his physical appearance, as to it’s relation to what a child might look like if he were the father.
She might be more interested in the man’s stability and ability to provide than how long his penis is or how long he can last in bed.
Don’t misunderstand me; any healthy young woman is concerned about the ability of a lover to please her, it’s just that although that is a priority, it isn’t the only one. Where, for young man, the sex act is the driving force.
A Truth: Even ugly women can be goddesses.
I don’t mean to offend anyone by using the description “ugly” as it’s related to females, but lets be honest, in our society as in all past societies, looks are important in social settings. Forms of beauty have changed through the ages, but one thing has remained constant; there have always been the beautiful and the ugly.
But what hasn’t always been apparent is that physical appearance isn’t really the most important thing to excite a man’s libido. A plain woman can be considered sexier than the most physically beautiful woman just by having the right attitude toward sex.
Yes, that’s entirely true. How a woman responds to a man’s sex drive is much more important than mere physical attractiveness. A woman who understands “penis psychology” is sought after as a rare prize, as something special.
The problem is that ninety-nine percent of woman don’t understand men and their “needs” and without that understanding their relationship will be superficial and based upon other factors such as physical appearance, wealth, or popularity.
A Truth: Penis worship will get the willing woman anything she wants.
This is the most important thing for any woman to understand. Men think through their penis. Yes I know that sounds like an old cliché, and that any self-respecting person would just dismiss that statement. But if you really do dismiss this one fact, then you’ve blown it completely.
As I stated at the beginning of this article, men from priests to rapists envision women, in their mind’s eye, as sexual objects. There is nothing truer than this one fact.
The fact that a priest fantasizes about a nubile young female as a sex partner doesn’t make him evil, it is the natural predisposition of the human male to look at women as sex partners. But in most cases the priest can over ride his instincts and not act out on his procreative urges.
The point I make here is that if women will accept this one truth, that ALL men see women as sex objects, and that this is a natural state of affairs, then they can control men, and their own lives as well.
In our society today, women have an inferior position to men, both in the workplace and in society. If anyone ever really gave it serious thought they would come to the conclusion that male dominance is the reason for this situation. Since the beginning of time the man has been in control, the aggressor, the dominant partner.
In today’s society, muscle and aggression is less gender specific than they have ever been before. In the bedroom a woman can control her man completely just by understanding what drives him, and how his mind works.
I’m not trying to imply that the bedroom is the woman’s domain and that it is the only way to get ahead in life. All I’m saying is that if the young woman of today understands, truly understands, what makes men tick, she will have a great advantage in her relationships with men in bed and in the workplace.
The following are some basic truths to know about heterosexual males that should be understood:
- As a rule, young males begin to think about sex at around nine and first begin to masturbate to ejaculation at around ten to eleven years old.
- Just about every young male who masturbates is doing it EVERY DAY and is fantasizing ALL THE TIME about any and all females who happen to be within his environment. This would include females as diverse as Sunday School teachers, the next-door neighbor’s daughters and wife, even his mother and own sisters.
- Even though most men don’t act out on their fantasies, young males of masturbating age will fantasize about forcing other children, as well as adult females. Whole scenarios will be built up; how to place their “victim” in a position where they can take advance of their sexuality without their knowing who is doing it, and in a way that can’t be stopped, or punished later.
- Most boys of masturbation age would faint from fright if a female actually approached them for their sexual favors.
- As they grow up, most men are willing to do anything for an accommodating woman who showed they were attracted sexually to them.
As with anything, even masturbation becomes a “habit” over time. Although the physical pleasure is still intense, the mind becomes used to the pleasure and the act itself becomes routine.
It is those formative years before routine sets in, that shape a man’s penis psychology. What kind of fantasies gave the most satisfaction. What kinds of external stimuli was experienced during his formative years and what kinds of sexual contact he might have had, that will shape his “needs” in the future.
Many children will experience some kind of sexual contact before becoming fully sexually aware. This is all part of the growing-up process, most children are curious and they’ll be curious about things sexual as well.
My most vivid memory of pre-masturbatory sexual contact was when a couple of buddies of mine in the fourth grade, talked a pretty little blonde girl (I’ve forgotten her name) into letting them finger her behind the curtains of the class room at school.
It amazed me at the time that any girl would agree to something like that, and to do it in a classroom where other people were, was even more amazing to me.
That was the first time I saw a girls vagina and the memory was burned into my memory and became the “ideal” for all future vaginas. That one episode “colored” my sexuality for the rest of my life. It showed me my first female sexual organ and at the same time it made me realize that females would let you do things to them if you asked the right one the right question.
As I grew up I had other sexual encounters with both boys and girls. At that age I suppose curiosity is a powerful thing, and the pleasure of sexual contact without the realization of the consequences is both an exhilarating and dangerous time in all children’s lives.
These episodes have nothing to do with parental upbringing either. My experiences took place because of the children I knew from school. My parents tried very hard to instill in me the right values, but when you are a child and other children do and show you things that are exciting, you’re not thinking about what is morally right and wrong, because as a child you don’t have the understanding of guilt that you will later as an adult.
Looking back I realize that I was more sexually active than many children, and the reason for this was the school friends that I had. I realized that I was more sexual than other boys when the boy next door and I began to “feel” each other up out in his back yard after school.
They had a big old refrigerator box with a couple of holes in it that was sort of a playhouse/fort. I don’t remember how it started or who made the first move, but I do remember that we ended up out there in his backyard together.
One of us would stick his head out of the hole in the top of the big box and keep an eye open for anyone approaching, while the other would unbuckle and unzip him and fondle his penis and balls.
Keep in mind that this was before either of us had begun to masturbate, we didn’t know the full extend of the sex act, all we knew was that it felt good to have someone else touch us and make us hard.
The realization came to me that he and I were different when one day we invited to other buddies from school into that backyard and somehow talked them into baring their penises. We had all decided that we’d stand in a circle and touch “dick heads”, you know, one for all and all for one.
We’ll you can imagine my surprise when my buddy and I whipped ours out and then looked at our new friends. Both my buddy and I had fully hard erections and our two friends were holding small, limp little penises out on display.
At that moment I realized that they weren’t turned on at all. That they were just doing this because we’d asked them to and they couldn’t see any reason not to do it. That experience taught me an important lesson; don’t assume that everyone thinks the same way as you. They have been “colored” by their experiences just like you have by yours.
Eventually my buddy and I stopped our sexual contact. Not that either of us had a girlfriend, but we just lost interest in each other and then he moved away and the whole incident became one more experience from the past.
The whole point of the story is to illustrate that what is normal to one person isn’t necessarily to another, but that all sexual contact shapes ones outlook for the future.
I would wager that you have a few sexual contact stories from your childhood, even if it is nothing more than walking in on your mom and dad making love or opening the door to your brother’s room and catching him masturbating on his bed. All of these things will “color” your future sexual outlook as well as your fantasies and turn-ons.
A Truth: To a male, his penis is his most prized position.
No matter what a man says, his penis defines him. If it’s short and crooked he’ll be hung up about it. If he can’t last more than a few seconds or if he has a hard time staying erect, he’ll be very concerned about it to the exclusion of all else.
In the U.S. more that 7 billion dollars a year is spent on MALE sexual problems of one sort or another, whether it be mental or physical.
That’s a lot of greenbacks, just concentrated on one part of the male body. But the penis is such a defining organ, one that hangs out in the open and cannot tell a lie.
A woman can if necessary, lie on her back and scream in passion and fool a man into thinking she is enjoying herself, but a man has to “prove” his excitement by sporting a stiff penis. And since the male libido is a sensitive and delicate thing, it can become a problem even for the fully sexual male. The more stressful situations that he places himself in, the more chance that he will experience performance problems.
My research shows that in monogamous relationships where a couple has had no other sex partners, the incident of erectile failure is less than 1%, while for those males who have had 10 or more sexual encounters erectile failure has occurred at least once, or 100% of subjects admitted to some sort of performance problem under certain circumstances.
A woman who knows how important her male partner’s penis is to him will be way ahead of the game. And a woman who will take the time to worship his penis, will be the sexiest woman in the world to him.
A Truth: Penis Worship makes every woman a goddess.
If women would keep one sexual thought in their minds when approaching her lover in bed, she will always have the upper hand and will be his own personal goddess.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, any woman, even a “plain-jane” can be a goddess in her man’s eyes, all it takes is understanding “penis psychology” and using that knowledge on her lover.
A man knows when his lover thinks he’s sexy. He can tell by the attention she gives his penis. Whether you’re trying to rekindle your sex life with a long time lover or just starting out in a relationship, I guarantee you grand success if you treat his penis like a god.
It’s not that hard to treat a man’s penis like a god. When fully erect it resembles the fertility phallus, which has been a sign of godliness since the dawn of time. It is smooth and hard all at once and if properly maintained, it feels wonderful wrapped within the fingers of your hand, or between your lips, or sunk deeply between the folds of your vagina.
The penis is a mighty sign of your man’s lust and that lust is yours for the taking over and over again if you’re willing to praise the symbol of that lust in word and deed.
The simplest way to show you care is to seek out his penis when he’s otherwise occupied. Even though men think about sex all the time, sometimes those thoughts are submerged beneath day-to-day tasks. But the sexiest thing he’ll ever experience is the moment when his lover walks up to him while he’s preoccupied and she slips her hands in his pocket and massages his balls.
Don’t you think he will remember the event for the rest of his life, when, while he’s talking to someone from work on the phone you kneel down in front of him and loosen his belt and open his fly and give him a silent blowjob while he has to continue his conversation. Take my word as a male, that performing an act like that becomes a defining moment in his life, something he’ll never forget.
You didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done later that night in bed, but it was the timing of the event, and the playfulness, the “penis worship” that he will never forget.
There is no reason to ever have to do anything outside the home that might get either of you in trouble, but if you want to make one of those defining moments; a little playfulness in the dark at a movie or concert will take his attention immediately.
Even something as simple as laying in bed and caressing his penis, and talking to it as if it had a life of its own. Let him see you adoring his penis and you have won him over.
Continue penis worship from time to time and you’ll have a satisfied lover, one who is less likely to have roving eyes. As an example, my wife always gives me great sex and a blowjob the night before I go out of town to attend an event related to my work.
We’ve never actually talked about it, but I have always known why she does that, and I look forward to it. I know that she is putting her “mark” on me, sending me off “satisfied” so if some other woman eyes me while I’m on the road, I’ll be less likely to be tempted.
It’s wonderful to know that she values me enough to go out of her way to leave me sated prior to my trips. It’s something that keeps the cockles of my heart warm while I’m out there negotiating the cold cruel world.
Please send your comments or questions to Dr. Andy, with the title “Penis Psychology” in the subject line, to the archive at: webber78@hotmail.com.
The only real advice I can give you is that you should take the time to really get to know your man’s sexual organ. It will be time well spent. And if you will take enough time at least once a week from now until hell freezes over to adore his penis, to actually worship it during sex play, then you will truly be his goddess and he will worship you in return.
One last note: Penis worship still works even after menopause, even if sexual intercourse becomes impossible due to physical related female problems which so often happen after the change in life.
Just because you can’t have intercourse any longer doesn’t mean that he’s stopped wanting it. A little “Penis Worship” can go a long way toward satisfying your man’s sex drive under conditions like this. If he’s still with you it means he wants to be. If you want him to stay faithful, then worship his penis once a week.
The Male Prostate Massage
Goddesses would you like to know how to give your man one of the strongest and most intense orgasms he’s ever had? Yes! Well, men have any area much like our G-spot, but theirs is called the Prostate and it is a highly sensitive spot. 
Prostate orgasm is a term used for massaging the prostate gland. and so is milking. Prostate massage is normally used therapeutically to treat and prevent a variety of prostate disorders such as prostatitis and BPH (Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy). Many health care providers recommend prostate orgasm as a way of soothing and relieving prostate distress. However, it has grown very popular for sexual pleasure to intensify the orgasm in masturbation or with a partner.
Since the most direct way for you to massage your man’s Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. And It’s not for every man. There are many benefits and the pleasure can be very intense for most men.
Before beginning the prostate massage your partner may want to urinate and/or have a bowel movement and shower to freshen up. Make sure your nails are cut and smooth so there are no rough edges or use a latex glove or a finger glove for safer anal play. Also have plenty of lubricant available.
It’s important for you partner to be relaxed so starting out with a nice sensual massage is great and when you are both ready, you can begin massaging your partner’s prostate externally. It’s easier to have him laying on his back and then using your index and middle fingertips, you can touch, rub, stroke, or press his perineum (the area of skin from underneath his testicles to his anus), trying various sensations and pressures. Use your other hand to stroke other parts of his body for additional arousal. This is the beginning of the massage, so talk to your partner about what feels good to him.
You don’t want to enter to quickly with your finger so continue to massage the exterior of the anus until it becomes soft and pliable, and not resistant to your touch. You can do this with circular motions in a slow and steady fashion.
Insert your finger(s) about an inch or so, and when your partner is comfortable, move your finger(s) in an upward motion along the wall of the rectal lining that faces the front of his body. Try to locate a round bulb of tissue — this is the prostate. Once you locate this area, move your finger(s) in a “come here” motion. Remember the prostate gland is a very delicate organ and should be treated with care at all times.
At the same time you are massaging his prostate take his penis in your hand or mouth For some men they may orgasm through prostate stimulation alone, but most need additional stimulation.
If he does indeed find pleasure in this experience hopefully you’ll watch him escalate to one of the most intense orgasms he’s ever had. If not, at least you will be learning together, building trust between you and trying something new.
Menopause and Sex Doesn’t Have to Be a Death Sentence
As you enter into the menopausal stage of your life it doesn’t mean a death sentence for sexual desire and fulfillment. You can enjoy sex without the physical pain and discomfort that can come from the changes your body is going through.
Declining hormone levels are responsible for many physical changes that may lead to a decrease in libido and sexual satisfaction if you’re menopausal women. Without estrogen, the vagina is less well lubricated and the vaginal lining thins. Lower estrogen levels also decrease the blood supply to the vagina and the surrounding nerves making the vagina drier. These symptoms may contribute to painful intercourse.
However, vaginal dryness can be treated with massage oil or an oil based lubricant. It is also much more sensuous. The only time I recommend a water-soluble lubricant is when condoms are involved such as Probe, K-Y, Astroglide, or Silk.
When the vaginal lining thins it retracts and losses it’s elasticity. If you don’t have intercourse very often it can be painful when you do. I recommend you either have intercourse more frequently or make private time to pleasure yourself. Use a dildo with plenty of lubricant, penetrate the vagina and use slow in and out movements. This will help to maintain the elasticity and partner sex will be more enjoyable.Minimize any pain you maybe experiencing by using sexual positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a warm bath before intercourse to help relax and again use plenty of lubricant to help reduce pain caused by friction.
While physical changes associated with menopause may contribute to a decline in sexual activity it is difficult to say that they are the only factors that may affect sexual activity. Relationship and psychological status play an important role in both sex drive and sexual satisfaction.
Whatever the biological problem your attitude will be the most important determinant of how well you and your partner cope. At this point in life, the brain remains the most important sex organ.
Having a healthy, positive attitude will go along way in sustaining sexual satisfaction. Allow yourself to be open to your partner helping you to get into the mood. It’s important to take your time with lots of fore play to build your mood and pleasure. Enhance stimulation through the use of erotic material (videos or books); mutual masturbation and changes to your sexual routine can all help in keeping the anticipation of sex exciting.
You can practice non-coital behaviors (physically stimulating activities that does not include intercourse). Sensual massage is great for this. It promotes comfort, relaxation and intimacy for couples without having to have a sexual goal. Sensual touching can also increase communication between you and your partner.
Living a healthy lifestyle is always important. In general it can boost confidence and improve sexual desire. Regular exercise, regular sleep, and eating a balanced diet can improve your outcome.
For a lot of women these changes are still not enough for them to enjoy sex. Other options are Homeopathic and Herbal Remedies. You might want to work with someone who is knowledgeable in these fields to help you find what can work best for you.
Women who have taken Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) have had greater sexual activity. HRT has a positive benefit on treating menopausal symptoms in the short term. All medical treatments have advantages and disadvantages and should be discussed with you health care provider.
Remember the enjoyment of sex may have to do with attitude and continued sexual activity as with any of the age-related changes. If you have enjoyed a satisfying sex life before menopause, you have every reason to believe it will continue. Should temporary symptoms arise, they can, for the most part, be treated with natural methods. A combination of a sound knowledge of the aging process, acceptance of yourself and an understanding attitude toward your partner will enable you to learn new, creative ways of finding sexual pleasure.
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