Sex Goddess Mentor

I really enjoyed this article and it’s long but, it covers the little known and even less admitted thoughts, urges and motivations of the human male. Even though the descriptions are a bit stereotypical, the underlying truth still prevails.

Written by Doctor Andy – In an ongoing informational about the human sexual condition. These articles are written especially for the Kristen Archives and their readers and may be reproduced in other forums as long as the information is not edited and the author information and email address remains in tact.

A Truth: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.

You’ve probably heard this statement connected to a prominent self-help author and in discussions about gender relationships.

The reason you have heard this statement is that it is absolutely true and describes a human condition that has been glossed over since the beginning of time.

Ninety-nine percent of women have no idea what goes through a man’s mind on a regular basis. Women think they know, but if they could crawl inside the average male’s mind and read their thoughts un-hindered, they’d be shocked beyond belief.

You’ve heard woman say, “He’s such a pig.” Usually related by an ex-girlfriend or wife about their relationship with an ex-boyfriend for ex-husband. What has happened here is that she’s actually gotten a glimpse of the “private” man, the man that we all are, but that most of us can conceal, or subdue.

A Truth: Every heterosexual male looks at a woman as a sex object.

This truth applies to men from the priesthood all the way down the social ladder to rapists and thieves. There is not one heterosexual male on the face of the earth, that when they see a woman that appeals to their senses, doesn’t imagine that woman as a sex partner.

When a male is gazing dreamily at a female while sitting on a plane, train, or at a stoplight, he isn’t just looking into space. What he’s doing is fantasizing about pumping his seed into her while she’s screaming for him to “do it harder!”

Of course this condition is part of nature. The urge to reproduce is a basic part of our human condition and the normal male is programmed by nature to “need” to reproduce. So when he sees a likely female his mind automatically turns to thoughts of reproduction.

Women have been programmed by nature to be the nurturer of life, to have maternal instincts if you will. They enjoy sex, but they aren’t programmed with the “need” to reproduce like men are. When a woman gazes dreamily at a man, she isn’t usually thinking about him humping away at her, she’s gauging his physical appearance, as to it’s relation to what a child might look like if he were the father.

She might be more interested in the man’s stability and ability to provide than how long his penis is or how long he can last in bed.

Don’t misunderstand me; any healthy young woman is concerned about the ability of a lover to please her, it’s just that although that is a priority, it isn’t the only one. Where, for young man, the sex act is the driving force.

A Truth: Even ugly women can be goddesses.

I don’t mean to offend anyone by using the description “ugly” as it’s related to females, but lets be honest, in our society as in all past societies, looks are important in social settings. Forms of beauty have changed through the ages, but one thing has remained constant; there have always been the beautiful and the ugly.

But what hasn’t always been apparent is that physical appearance isn’t really the most important thing to excite a man’s libido. A plain woman can be considered sexier than the most physically beautiful woman just by having the right attitude toward sex.

Yes, that’s entirely true. How a woman responds to a man’s sex drive is much more important than mere physical attractiveness. A woman who understands “penis psychology” is sought after as a rare prize, as something special.

The problem is that ninety-nine percent of woman don’t understand men and their “needs” and without that understanding their relationship will be superficial and based upon other factors such as physical appearance, wealth, or popularity.

A Truth: Penis worship will get the willing woman anything she wants.

This is the most important thing for any woman to understand. Men think through their penis. Yes I know that sounds like an old cliché, and that any self-respecting person would just dismiss that statement. But if you really do dismiss this one fact, then you’ve blown it completely.

As I stated at the beginning of this article, men from priests to rapists envision women, in their mind’s eye, as sexual objects. There is nothing truer than this one fact.

The fact that a priest fantasizes about a nubile young female as a sex partner doesn’t make him evil, it is the natural predisposition of the human male to look at women as sex partners. But in most cases the priest can over ride his instincts and not act out on his procreative urges.

The point I make here is that if women will accept this one truth, that ALL men see women as sex objects, and that this is a natural state of affairs, then they can control men, and their own lives as well.

In our society today, women have an inferior position to men, both in the workplace and in society. If anyone ever really gave it serious thought they would come to the conclusion that male dominance is the reason for this situation. Since the beginning of time the man has been in control, the aggressor, the dominant partner.

In today’s society, muscle and aggression is less gender specific than they have ever been before. In the bedroom a woman can control her man completely just by understanding what drives him, and how his mind works.

I’m not trying to imply that the bedroom is the woman’s domain and that it is the only way to get ahead in life. All I’m saying is that if the young woman of today understands, truly understands, what makes men tick, she will have a great advantage in her relationships with men in bed and in the workplace.

The following are some basic truths to know about heterosexual males that should be understood:

1. As a rule, young males begin to think about sex at around nine and first begin to masturbate to ejaculation at around ten to eleven years old.
2. Just about every young male who masturbates is doing it EVERY DAY and is fantasizing ALL THE TIME about any and all females who happen to be within his environment. This would include females as diverse as Sunday School teachers, the next-door neighbor’s daughters and wife, even his mother and own sisters.
3. Even though most men don’t act out on their fantasies, young males of masturbating age will fantasize about forcing other children, as well as adult females. Whole scenarios will be built up; how to place their “victim” in a position where they can take advance of their sexuality without their knowing who is doing it, and in a way that can’t be stopped, or punished later.
4. Most boys of masturbation age would faint from fright if a female actually approached them for their sexual favors.
5. As they grow up, most men are willing to do anything for an accommodating woman who showed they were attracted sexually to them.

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As with anything, even masturbation becomes a “habit” over time. Although the physical pleasure is still intense, the mind becomes used to the pleasure and the act itself becomes routine.

It is those formative years before routine sets in, that shape a man’s penis psychology. What kind of fantasies gave the most satisfaction. What kinds of external stimuli was experienced during his formative years and what kinds of sexual contact he might have had, that will shape his “needs” in the future.

Many children will experience some kind of sexual contact before becoming fully sexually aware. This is all part of the growing-up process, most children are curious and they’ll be curious about things sexual as well.

My most vivid memory of pre-masturbatory sexual contact was when a couple of buddies of mine in the fourth grade, talked a pretty little blonde girl (I’ve forgotten her name) into letting them finger her behind the curtains of the class room at school.

It amazed me at the time that any girl would agree to something like that, and to do it in a classroom where other people were, was even more amazing to me.

That was the first time I saw a girls vagina and the memory was burned into my memory and became the “ideal” for all future vaginas. That one episode “colored” my sexuality for the rest of my life. It showed me my first female sexual organ and at the same time it made me realize that females would let you do things to them if you asked the right one the right question.

As I grew up I had other sexual encounters with both boys and girls. At that age I suppose curiosity is a powerful thing, and the pleasure of sexual contact without the realization of the consequences is both an exhilarating and dangerous time in all children’s lives.

These episodes have nothing to do with parental upbringing either. My experiences took place because of the children I knew from school. My parents tried very hard to instill in me the right values, but when you are a child and other children do and show you things that are exciting, you’re not thinking about what is morally right and wrong, because as a child you don’t have the understanding of guilt that you will later as an adult.

Looking back I realize that I was more sexually active than many children, and the reason for this was the school friends that I had. I realized that I was more sexual than other boys when the boy next door and I began to “feel” each other up out in his back yard after school.

They had a big old refrigerator box with a couple of holes in it that was sort of a playhouse/fort. I don’t remember how it started or who made the first move, but I do remember that we ended up out there in his backyard together.

One of us would stick his head out of the hole in the top of the big box and keep an eye open for anyone approaching, while the other would unbuckle and unzip him and fondle his penis and balls.

Keep in mind that this was before either of us had begun to masturbate, we didn’t know the full extend of the sex act, all we knew was that it felt good to have someone else touch us and make us hard.

The realization came to me that he and I were different when one day we invited to other buddies from school into that backyard and somehow talked them into baring their penises. We had all decided that we’d stand in a circle and touch “dick heads”, you know, one for all and all for one.

We’ll you can imagine my surprise when my buddy and I whipped ours out and then looked at our new friends. Both my buddy and I had fully hard erections and our two friends were holding small, limp little penises out on display.

At that moment I realized that they weren’t turned on at all. That they were just doing this because we’d asked them to and they couldn’t see any reason not to do it. That experience taught me an important lesson; don’t assume that everyone thinks the same way as you. They have been “colored” by their experiences just like you have by yours.

Eventually my buddy and I stopped our sexual contact. Not that either of us had a girlfriend, but we just lost interest in each other and then he moved away and the whole incident became one more experience from the past.

The whole point of the story is to illustrate that what is normal to one person isn’t necessarily to another, but that all sexual contact shapes ones outlook for the future.

I would wager that you have a few sexual contact stories from your childhood, even if it is nothing more than walking in on your mom and dad making love or opening the door to your brother’s room and catching him masturbating on his bed. All of these things will “color” your future sexual outlook as well as your fantasies and turn-ons.

A Truth: To a male, his penis is his most prized position.

No matter what a man says, his penis defines him. If it’s short and crooked he’ll be hung up about it. If he can’t last more than a few seconds or if he has a hard time staying erect, he’ll be very concerned about it to the exclusion of all else.

In the U.S. more that 7 billion dollars a year is spent on MALE sexual problems of one sort or another, whether it be mental or physical.

That’s a lot of greenbacks, just concentrated on one part of the male body. But the penis is such a defining organ, one that hangs out in the open and cannot tell a lie.

A woman can if necessary, lie on her back and scream in passion and fool a man into thinking she is enjoying herself, but a man has to “prove” his excitement by sporting a stiff penis. And since the male libido is a sensitive and delicate thing, it can become a problem even for the fully sexual male. The more stressful situations that he places himself in, the more chance that he will experience performance problems.

My research shows that in monogamous relationships where a couple has had no other sex partners, the incident of erectile failure is less than 1%, while for those males who have had 10 or more sexual encounters erectile failure has occurred at least once, or 100% of subjects admitted to some sort of performance problem under certain circumstances.

A woman who knows how important her male partner’s penis is to him will be way ahead of the game. And a woman who will take the time to worship his penis, will be the sexiest woman in the world to him.

A Truth: Penis Worship makes every woman a goddess.

If women would keep one sexual thought in their minds when approaching her lover in bed, she will always have the upper hand and will be his own personal goddess.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, any woman, even a “plain-jane” can be a goddess in her man’s eyes, all it takes is understanding “penis psychology” and using that knowledge on her lover.

A man knows when his lover thinks he’s sexy. He can tell by the attention she gives his penis. Whether you’re trying to rekindle your sex life with a long time lover or just starting out in a relationship, I guarantee you grand success if you treat his penis like a god.

It’s not that hard to treat a man’s penis like a god. When fully erect it resembles the fertility phallus, which has been a sign of godliness since the dawn of time. It is smooth and hard all at once and if properly maintained, it feels wonderful wrapped within the fingers of your hand, or between your lips, or sunk deeply between the folds of your vagina.

The penis is a mighty sign of your man’s lust and that lust is yours for the taking over and over again if you’re willing to praise the symbol of that lust in word and deed.

The simplest way to show you care is to seek out his penis when he’s otherwise occupied. Even though men think about sex all the time, sometimes those thoughts are submerged beneath day-to-day tasks. But the sexiest thing he’ll ever experience is the moment when his lover walks up to him while he’s preoccupied and she slips her hands in his pocket and massages his balls.

Don’t you think he will remember the event for the rest of his life, when, while he’s talking to someone from work on the phone you kneel down in front of him and loosen his belt and open his fly and give him a silent blowjob while he has to continue his conversation. Take my word as a male, that performing an act like that becomes a defining moment in his life, something he’ll never forget.

You didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done later that night in bed, but it was the timing of the event, and the playfulness, the “penis worship” that he will never forget.

There is no reason to ever have to do anything outside the home that might get either of you in trouble, but if you want to make one of those defining moments; a little playfulness in the dark at a movie or concert will take his attention immediately.

Even something as simple as laying in bed and caressing his penis, and talking to it as if it had a life of its own. Let him see you adoring his penis and you have won him over.

Continue penis worship from time to time and you’ll have a satisfied lover, one who is less likely to have roving eyes. As an example, my wife always gives me great sex and a blowjob the night before I go out of town to attend an event related to my work.

We’ve never actually talked about it, but I have always known why she does that, and I look forward to it. I know that she is putting her “mark” on me, sending me off “satisfied” so if some other woman eyes me while I’m on the road, I’ll be less likely to be tempted.

It’s wonderful to know that she values me enough to go out of her way to leave me sated prior to my trips. It’s something that keeps the cockles of my heart warm while I’m out there negotiating the cold cruel world.

Please send your comments or questions to Dr. Andy, with the title “Penis Psychology” in the subject line, to the archive at: webber78@hotmail.com.

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The only real advice I can give you is that you should take the time to really get to know your man’s sexual organ. It will be time well spent. And if you will take enough time at least once a week from now until hell freezes over to adore his penis, to actually worship it during sex play, then you will truly be his goddess and he will worship you in return.

One last note: Penis worship still works even after menopause, even if sexual intercourse becomes impossible due to physical related female problems which so often happen after the change in life.

Just because you can’t have intercourse any longer doesn’t mean that he’s stopped wanting it. A little “Penis Worship” can go a long way toward satisfying your man’s sex drive under conditions like this. If he’s still with you it means he wants to be. If you want him to stay faithful, then worship his penis once a week.

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Goddesses would you like to know how to give your man one of the strongest and most intense orgasms he’s ever had? Yes! Well, men have any area much like our G-spot, but theirs is called the Prostate and it is a highly sensitive spot.

Prostate orgasm is a term used for massaging the prostate gland. and so is milking. Prostate massage is normally used therapeutically to treat and prevent a variety of prostate disorders such as prostatitis and BPH (Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy). Many health care providers recommend prostate orgasm as a way of soothing and relieving prostate distress. However, it has grown very popular for sexual pleasure to intensify the orgasm in masturbation or with a partner.

Since the most direct way for you to massage your man’s Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. And It’s not for every man. There are many benefits and the pleasure can be very intense for most men.

Before beginning the prostate massage your partner may want to urinate and/or have a bowel movement and shower to freshen up. Make sure your nails are cut and smooth so there are no rough edges or use a latex glove or a finger glove for safer anal play. Also have plenty of lubricant available.

It’s important for you partner to be relaxed so starting out with a nice sensual massage is great and when you are both ready, you can begin massaging your partner’s prostate externally. It’s easier to have him laying on his back and then using your index and middle fingertips, you can touch, rub, stroke, or press his perineum (the area of skin from underneath his testicles to his anus), trying various sensations and pressures. Use your other hand to stroke other parts of his body for additional arousal. This is the beginning of the massage, so talk to your partner about what feels good to him.

You don’t want to enter to quickly with your finger so continue to massage the exterior of the anus until it becomes soft and pliable, and not resistant to your touch. You can do this with circular motions in a slow and steady fashion.

Insert your finger(s) about an inch or so, and when your partner is comfortable, move your finger(s) in an upward motion along the wall of the rectal lining that faces the front of his body. Try to locate a round bulb of tissue — this is the prostate. Once you locate this area, move your finger(s) in a “come here” motion. Remember the prostate gland is a very delicate organ and should be treated with care at all times.

At the same time you are massaging his prostate take his penis in your hand or mouth  For some men they may orgasm through prostate stimulation alone, but most need additional stimulation.

If he does indeed find pleasure in this experience hopefully you’ll watch him escalate to one of the most intense orgasms he’s ever had. If not, at least you will be learning together, building trust between you and trying something new.

As you enter into the menopausal stage of your life it doesn’t mean a death sentence for sexual desire and fulfillment. You can enjoy sex without the physical pain and discomfort that can come from the changes your body is going through.

Declining hormone levels are responsible for many physical changes that may lead to a decrease in libido and sexual satisfaction if you’re menopausal women. Without estrogen, the vagina is less well lubricated and the vaginal lining thins. Lower estrogen levels also decrease the blood supply to the vagina and the surrounding nerves making the vagina drier. These symptoms may contribute to painful intercourse.
However, vaginal dryness can be treated with massage oil or an oil based lubricant. It is also much more sensuous. The only time I recommend a water-soluble lubricant is when condoms are involved such as Probe, K-Y, Astroglide, or Silk.

When the vaginal lining thins it retracts and losses it’s elasticity. If you don’t have intercourse very often it can be painful when you do. I recommend you either have intercourse more frequently or make private time to pleasure yourself. Use a dildo with plenty of lubricant, penetrate the vagina and use slow in and out movements. This will help to maintain the elasticity and partner sex will be more enjoyable.Minimize any pain you maybe experiencing by using sexual positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a warm bath before intercourse to help relax and again use plenty of lubricant to help reduce pain caused by friction.

While physical changes associated with menopause may contribute to a decline in sexual activity it is difficult to say that they are the only factors that may affect sexual activity. Relationship and psychological status play an important role in both sex drive and sexual satisfaction.
Whatever the biological problem your attitude will be the most important determinant of how well you and your partner cope. At this point in life, the brain remains the most important sex organ.
Having a healthy, positive attitude will go along way in sustaining sexual satisfaction. Allow yourself to be open to your partner helping you to get into the mood. It’s important to take your time with lots of fore play to build your mood and pleasure. Enhance stimulation through the use of erotic material (videos or books); mutual masturbation and changes to your sexual routine can all help in keeping the anticipation of sex exciting.
You can practice non-coital behaviors (physically stimulating activities that does not include intercourse). Sensual massage is great for this. It promotes comfort, relaxation and intimacy for couples without having to have a sexual goal. Sensual touching can also increase communication between you and your partner.
Living a healthy lifestyle is always important. In general it can boost confidence and improve sexual desire. Regular exercise, regular sleep, and eating a balanced diet can improve your outcome.
For a lot of women these changes are still not enough for them to enjoy sex. Other options are Homeopathic and Herbal Remedies. You might want to work with someone who is knowledgeable in these fields to help you find what can work best for you.
Women who have taken Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) have had greater sexual activity. HRT has a positive benefit on treating menopausal symptoms in the short term. All medical treatments have advantages and disadvantages and should be discussed with you health care provider.
Remember the enjoyment of sex may have to do with attitude and continued sexual activity as with any of the age-related changes. If you have enjoyed a satisfying sex life before menopause, you have every reason to believe it will continue. Should temporary symptoms arise, they can, for the most part, be treated with natural methods. A combination of a sound knowledge of the aging process, acceptance of yourself and an understanding attitude toward your partner will enable you to learn new, creative ways of finding sexual pleasure.

If you are interested in alternative natural remedies to help eliminate Menopause symptoms then Click Here!

Ladies take it from me, this is one area of your sexual life hat you don’t want to neglect. You may have been told that masturbation is “dirty’ or “immoral” or that only men do it. I shared with you in the previous post the reasons  to include self-pleasuring in your sexual vocabulary. After all, men have been enjoying this sexy secret for years. it’s our turn to get in on the fun.

Here are some tips I have learned over the years and would like to share with you.

Schedule pleasure time.

• Making taking time for yourself a priority.
• Turn off all electronic devices, yes, you cell phone too.
• Discover books, pictures, music textures, and/or smells that are especially sensuous, enjoyable and erotic  and be willing to add them to your environment.

Use all five of your senses,

• Sight (soft lighting, pictures, movies)
• Hearing (music, etc)
• Smell ( scented candles, flowers, essential oil)
• Taste ( Food, your own body, etc.)
• Touch (self-massage, feathers, textures, etc.)

The more senses you use, the more intense your experience will be and the more pleasure you will have.

• Include whole body touching. Work out from the genitals, spreading the sexual energy throughout the whole body.

• Incorporate pelvic breathing. It may be awkward at first, but you will see how it affects your sexual response, the strength of your orgasms.

• Contract and release your P.C. (Kegal) muscles. Also incorporate pelvic thrusting to add to the intensity.

Lubricant the Great Essential

• Don’t forget lubricant makes everything feel better against you or inside you. so any dildo, or vibrator that you use should be coated with lubricant just before you begin to use it. You will want to moisten your hands with lubricant before self-pleasuring too.

If you are just beginning this exploration use your hands first. A lot of women learn to orgasm by stimulating the clitoris manually. Try exploring your body with your hands, such as your breasts, inside your thighs, the vaginal lips (outside and in), even massage your buttocks, and most importantly your clitoris, paying close attention to what areas feel good. Try to imagine if it were someone else doing it and you wanted to tell them exactly where and what to touch, squeeze, massage, pinch, etc.

Sex Toys

• Self-pleasuring with dildos

A dildo is a shaft shaped like a penis, made of soft or hard plastic, jelly, or lifelike “future flesh”. Dildo are not motorized and can be used quietly anywhere.

• Your ticket to orgasm: The vibrator

In your exploration of self – pleasure, you’re selling your self short if you don’t consider using a vibrator, at least occasionally. These buzzy little objects, which are designed to vibrate gently against your clitoris or within your vagina, can help you achieve orgasm in a variety of ways. Some evn reach your G-spot! I’m telling you if you’ve never had an orgasm before the vibrator is your ticket to this experience of ecstasy.

I do recommend trying a washcloth opened up and draped of your clitoris while using a vibrator. For some of you using the vibrator directly on your clitoris might be too much. You can fold over the washcloth as many times as you need to remove it all together.

For the ultimate pleasure put the dildo inside your vagina and us the vibrator on your clitoris at the same time. Squeezing your kegals around the dildo time will not only enhance your pleasure, but will strengthen them as well. Double duty. =)

Don’t be afraid to rock, move, grunt, moan or even cry while you explore the pleasures within yourself. Your total release can be so freeing and heal you within, so let yourself experience those reactions you might have when you lose control.

I invite you to check out one of my favorite places to shop for things to satisfy my 5 senses <a href=”http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toys-for-women/#pcode-88C”>Sex toys for women – EdenFantasys.com</a> It’s a one stop shop.

Your body is a sacred temple and a divine instrument of pleasures fit for the gods. And before you can use it to make wonderful music with a partner you must learn how to play it…lol

Part of becoming comfortable and intimatly acquainted with your own bodyis learning how to pleasure it. The more you understand about what you like, the better you’ll be able to enjoy sexual contact with a partner. Betty Dodson once said, ” Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire and masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. It’s the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem”.  It’s certainly one of the easiest, fastest and most reliable ways to unleash your Inner Sex Goddess.

Here are some more reasons to spend precious time and energy on your self indulgent pleasures.

Benefit #1

Self -Pleasuring is the single most important thing you can do to become a truly great lover. By focusing on your own fulfillment, you gain access to the complete you.

Benefit #2

Self-pleasuring makes you feel sexy. One of the fastest, surest, and most enjoyable ways to summon up the sense of power and senuality is to arouse your body and mind with some self -pleasuring.

Benefit #3

Self-pleasuring puts you in touch with your body. We ignore our bodies most of the time. We’re so busy organizing and divising our lives. We tend to view  the input and sensations of our bodies as less important, less reliable and less real than those of our mind. This seperation of mind and body is self-destructive.

Benefit #4

Self-pleasuring strengthens and increases the flexability of your love muscle. If you don’t already know puboccygeus (PC) is your primary love muscle. It is used to dtop the flow of urine and if it’s well developed you can use it to massage and squeeze a man’s penis to ecstasy. The PC muscle is the muscle in which you experience most of the contractions of orgasm. If you keep it toned it can help you have bigger, better and more frequent orgasms.

Benefit #5

Self-pleasuring teaches you how to have orgasms. Many women have never had an orgasm with or without a partner. Many are not sure if they have or not. Many women fake it just to keep the peace or to avoid hurting his feelings. Most women need additional stimulation to experience their full sexual potential and enjoyment, but all the while they think they’re supposed to be climaxing all over the place just from their lover’s penis.

Benefit #6

Self-pleasuring provides relief from mentral cramps. A benefit to having a toned and regularly orgasmic vaginal muscle is that they are stronger, more elastic and better able to handle the inner movement associated with your menstral period.

Benefit #7

Self-pleasure reduces stress and tention. The intense muscular and emotional release of self-induced orgasms provides quite a tonic for anxiety, tense muscles job stress or any other frustration.

Benefit #8

Sel-pleasuring helps you sleep. It has been scientifically proven that giving yourself a lovely orgasm relaxed your muscles and tunes your brain waves to alpha or even theta (Deep sleep). It’s like a sleeping pill that has no side effects.

Benefit #9

For older women, self pleasuring inceases vaginal lubrication and lessons the discomfort of dryness. This is not only true when you are pleasuring yourself, but all the time. Bt keeping your vaginal glands active, before, during and after menopause years, you are encouraging then to produce more lubrication regularly.

Benefit #10

Self-pleasuring is the key to overcoming sexual guilt and self repression. The more time you spend getting to know your body, feeling comfortable with it and all the wonderful things it can do for you and seeing how beautiful it is at rest and during all stages of excitement the more you come to understand that sexual pleasure is a natural and especially wonderful benefit of living in a body.

So toss out those old beliefs about self-pleasuring being dirty, sinful or that you should feel ashamed of yourself. They don’t serve you. What will serve you is the freedom to discover new techniques in vulva massage, self-pleasuring and anal massage.

So you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Pregnancy is a different experience for every woman and one concern that comes up for most couples is, “Is it safe to have Sex”?

Yes, sex is safe if you’re having a normal pregnancy. Sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy. What’s considered a “normal pregnancy”? It’s a pregnancy that is considered a low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or pre-term labor.

Everything that you were doing before you were pregnant is probably still okay. Do use some caution if your sexual activity is more aggressive. But, just because sex is safe during pregnancy doesn’t always mean you’ll want to have it! A lot of expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy. You might find sex becomes uncomfortable as your bodies get bigger. This is completely normal.

During the first trimester sex might not have the same appeal because of symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate. Fatigue and nausea usually end by the second trimester, and some of you might find that your desire for sex then increases. Although you could find that freedom from worries about contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with your partner, makes sex more fulfilling. Your desire could decline again during the third trimester as the uterus grows even larger and the reality of what’s about to happen sets in. It really varies from woman to woman.

Your partner’s desire for sex might increase or decrease as well. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Others may experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or because of concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child.

When you get a little farther along in your pregnancy you will find some sexual positions not as comfortable. Here are a few I recommend you do try.

Spoon: The spoon position can be very intimate. In this case you should lie on your side curled in a C, with your partner facing your back and curled around you. He then enters your vagina from behind while both of you are lying on your sides. This position also allows you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time of penetration.

Side by side: Another good choice for late pregnancy, this position will control thrust and keep weight off your belly. You and your husband lie side by side, facing each other. He slips his leg over yours (your leg can be either straight and to the side or bent at the knee) and enters you from an angle. In a variation of this, you lie on your back and he on his side. Put your leg that’s closest to him over his legs. He can enter you from the back and side, and still have his face next to yours.

Woman on top: This can be a satisfying position during late pregnancy, allowing you to control pacing and be more comfortable. Make sure, however, that he doesn’t enter you too deeply. He will always try!

Edge of the bed: Try lying down face-up on the edge of the bed, with your legs spread and the soles of your feet on the floor. Your partner can stand or bend over you. This position, however, does allow him to thrust more deeply, so you’ll have to tell him how gentle and slow you want him to be.

Don’t put the sex toys away. Keep them thoroughly cleaned and well lubricated as usual. They can add a lot of pleasure for you as you masturbate and be very erotic for your man to watch.  Use them during your foreplay or go at it alone for variety. Just be sure to top adjust the angle and depth to avoid bruising the cervix if using one that penetrates rather than just massages.

Most importantly – keep the lines of communication “open”. This is a wonderful thing happening to you both – talk about your needs and work together.

For more great sex ideas to use now or to keep sex alive after the baby is born, check out 500 Lovemaking Tips