Masturbation Tips For Women

Posted on July 15, 2009 by Deliese

Ladies take it from me, this is one area of your sexual life hat you don’t want to neglect. You may have been told that masturbation is “dirty’ or “immoral” or that only men do it. I shared with you in the previous post the reasons  to include self-pleasuring in your sexual vocabulary. After all, men have been enjoying this sexy secret for years. it’s our turn to get in on the fun.

Here are some tips I have learned over the years and would like to share with you.

Schedule pleasure time.

  • Making taking time for yourself a priority.
  • Turn off all electronic devices, yes, you cell phone too.
  • Discover books, pictures, music textures, and/or smells that are especially sensuous, enjoyable and erotic  and be willing to add them to your environment.

Use all five of your senses,

  • Sight (soft lighting, pictures, movies)
  • Hearing (music, etc)
  • Smell ( scented candles, flowers, essential oil)
  • Taste ( Food, your own body, etc.)
  • Touch (self-massage, feathers, textures, etc.)

The more senses you use, the more intense your experience will be and the more pleasure you will have.

  • Include whole body touching. Work out from the genitals, spreading the sexual energy throughout the whole body.
  • Incorporate pelvic breathing. It may be awkward at first, but you will see how it affects your sexual response, the strength of your orgasms.
  • Contract and release your P.C. (Kegal) muscles. Also incorporate pelvic thrusting to add to the intensity.

Lubricant the Great Essential

  • Don’t forget lubricant makes everything feel better against you or inside you. so any dildo, or vibrator that you use should be coated with lubricant just before you begin to use it. You will want to moisten your hands with lubricant before self-pleasuring too.

If you are just beginning this exploration use your hands first. A lot of women learn to orgasm by stimulating the clitoris manually. Try exploring your body with your hands, such as your breasts, inside your thighs, the vaginal lips (outside and in), even massage your buttocks, and most importantly your clitoris, paying close attention to what areas feel good. Try to imagine if it were someone else doing it and you wanted to tell them exactly where and what to touch, squeeze, massage, pinch, etc.

Sex Toys

  • Self-pleasuring with dildos

A dildo is a shaft shaped like a penis, made of soft or hard plastic, jelly, or lifelike “future flesh”. Dildo are not motorized and can be used quietly anywhere.

  • Your ticket to orgasm: The vibrator

In your exploration of self – pleasure, you’re selling your self short if you don’t consider using a vibrator, at least occasionally. These buzzy little objects, which are designed to vibrate gently against your clitoris or within your vagina, can help you achieve orgasm in a variety of ways. Some evn reach your G-spot! I’m telling you if you’ve never had an orgasm before the vibrator is your ticket to this experience of ecstasy.

I do recommend trying a washcloth opened up and draped of your clitoris while using a vibrator. For some of you using the vibrator directly on your clitoris might be too much. You can fold over the washcloth as many times as you need to remove it all together.

For the ultimate pleasure put the dildo inside your vagina and us the vibrator on your clitoris at the same time. Squeezing your kegals around the dildo time will not only enhance your pleasure, but will strengthen them as well. Double duty. =)

Don’t be afraid to rock, move, grunt, moan or even cry while you explore the pleasures within yourself. Your total release can be so freeing and heal you within, so let yourself experience those reactions you might have when you lose control.

I invite you to check out one of my favorite places to shop for things to satisfy my 5 senses <a href=”http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toys-for-women/#pcode-88C”>Sex toys for women – EdenFantasys.com</a> It’s a one stop shop.

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Benefits of Masturbation for Women – Unleash Your Inner Sex Goddess

Posted on July 11, 2009 by Deliese

selfpleasuring2

Your body is a sacred temple and a divine instrument of pleasures fit for the gods. And before you can use it to make wonderful music with a partner you must learn how to play it…lol

Part of becoming comfortable and intimatly acquainted with your own bodyis learning how to pleasure it. The more you understand about what you like, the better you’ll be able to enjoy sexual contact with a partner. Betty Dodson once said, ” Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire and masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. It’s the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem”.  It’s certainly one of the easiest, fastest and most reliable ways to unleash your Inner Sex Goddess.

Here are some more reasons to spend precious time and energy on your self indulgent pleasures.

Benefit #1

Self -Pleasuring is the single most important thing you can do to become a truly great lover. By focusing on your own fulfillment, you gain access to the complete you.

Benefit #2

Self-pleasuring makes you feel sexy. One of the fastest, surest, and most enjoyable ways to summon up the sense of power and senuality is to arouse your body and mind with some self -pleasuring.

Benefit #3

Self-pleasuring puts you in touch with your body. We ignore our bodies most of the time. We’re so busy organizing and divising our lives. We tend to view  the input and sensations of our bodies as less important, less reliable and less real than those of our mind. This seperation of mind and body is self-destructive.

Benefit #4

Self-pleasuring strengthens and increases the flexability of your love muscle. If you don’t already know puboccygeus (PC) is your primary love muscle. It is used to dtop the flow of urine and if it’s well developed you can use it to massage and squeeze a man’s penis to ecstasy. The PC muscle is the muscle in which you experience most of the contractions of orgasm. If you keep it toned it can help you have bigger, better and more frequent orgasms.

Benefit #5

Self-pleasuring teaches you how to have orgasms. Many women have never had an orgasm with or without a partner. Many are not sure if they have or not. Many women fake it just to keep the peace or to avoid hurting his feelings. Most women need additional stimulation to experience their full sexual potential and enjoyment, but all the while they think they’re supposed to be climaxing all over the place just from their lover’s penis.

Benefit #6

Self-pleasuring provides relief from mentral cramps. A benefit to having a toned and regularly orgasmic vaginal muscle is that they are stronger, more elastic and better able to handle the inner movement associated with your menstral period.

Benefit #7

Self-pleasure reduces stress and tention. The intense muscular and emotional release of self-induced orgasms provides quite a tonic for anxiety, tense muscles job stress or any other frustration.

Benefit #8

Sel-pleasuring helps you sleep. It has been scientifically proven that giving yourself a lovely orgasm relaxed your muscles and tunes your brain waves to alpha or even theta (Deep sleep). It’s like a sleeping pill that has no side effects.

Benefit #9

For older women, self pleasuring inceases vaginal lubrication and lessons the discomfort of dryness. This is not only true when you are pleasuring yourself, but all the time. Bt keeping your vaginal glands active, before, during and after menopause years, you are encouraging then to produce more lubrication regularly.

Benefit #10

Self-pleasuring is the key to overcoming sexual guilt and self repression. The more time you spend getting to know your body, feeling comfortable with it and all the wonderful things it can do for you and seeing how beautiful it is at rest and during all stages of excitement the more you come to understand that sexual pleasure is a natural and especially wonderful benefit of living in a body.

So toss out those old beliefs about self-pleasuring being dirty, sinful or that you should feel ashamed of yourself. They don’t serve you. What will serve you is the freedom to discover new techniques in vulva massage, self-pleasuring and anal massage.


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Helpful Sex Tips for Pregnant Women

Posted on July 5, 2009 by Deliese

So you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Pregnancy is a different experience for every woman and one concern that comes up for most couples is, “Is it safe to have Sex”?

Yes, sex is safe if you’re having a normal pregnancy. Sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy. What’s considered a “normal pregnancy”? It’s a pregnancy that is considered a low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or pre-term labor.

Everything that you were doing before you were pregnant is probably still okay. Do use some caution if your sexual activity is more aggressive. But, just because sex is safe during pregnancy doesn’t always mean you’ll want to have it! A lot of expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy. You might find sex becomes uncomfortable as your bodies get bigger. This is completely sex_pregnancynormal.

During the first trimester sex might not have the same appeal because of symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate. Fatigue and nausea usually end by the second trimester, and some of you might find that your desire for sex then increases. Although you could find that freedom from worries about contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with your partner, makes sex more fulfilling. Your desire could decline again during the third trimester as the uterus grows even larger and the reality of what’s about to happen sets in. It really varies from woman to woman.

Your partner’s desire for sex might increase or decrease as well. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Others may experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or because of concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child.

When you get a little farther along in your pregnancy you will find some sexual positions not as comfortable. Here are a few I recommend you do try.

Spoon: The spoon position can be very intimate. In this case you should lie on your side curled in a C, with your partner facing your back and curled around you. He then enters your vagina from behind while both of you are lying on your sides. This position also allows you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time of penetration.

Side by side: Another good choice for late pregnancy, this position will control thrust and keep weight off your belly. You and your husband lie side by side, facing each other. He slips his leg over yours (your leg can be either straight and to the side or bent at the knee) and enters you from an angle. In a variation of this, you lie on your back and he on his side. Put your leg that’s closest to him over his legs. He can enter you from the back and side, and still have his face next to yours.

Woman on top: This can be a satisfying position during late pregnancy, allowing you to control pacing and be more comfortable. Make sure, however, that he doesn’t enter you too deeply. He will always try!

Edge of the bed: Try lying down face-up on the edge of the bed, with your legs spread and the soles of your feet on the floor. Your partner can stand or bend over you. This position, however, does allow him to thrust more deeply, so you’ll have to tell him how gentle and slow you want him to be.

Don’t put the sex toys away. Keep them thoroughly cleaned and well lubricated as usual. They can add a lot of pleasure for you as you masturbate and be very erotic for your man to watch.  Use them during your foreplay or go at it alone for variety. Just be sure to top adjust the angle and depth to avoid bruising the cervix if using one that penetrates rather than just massages.

Most importantly – keep the lines of communication “open”. This is a wonderful thing happening to you both – talk about your needs and work together.

For more great sex ideas to use now or to keep sex alive after the baby is born, check out 500 Lovemaking Tips

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Know How To Be More Sexy!

Posted on June 28, 2009 by Deliese

Do you want to know how to be more sexy and be more appealing? I asked dozens of my male clients what they thought made a woman sexy. I must say it was a little surprising and refreshing to hear. Almost all of them said it was a woman’s attitude and how she carried herself that made her sexy. I really expected to hear short skirts, heels and bulging necklines..LOL  How stereotype is that.

I think many of us women are not sure what makes us feel sexy. Feeling sexy can be elusive. You might wake up feeling sexy and by the afternoon you are feeling as unsexy as you’ve ever felt. It’s important to explore what makes you feel sexy and how you can feel that way more often. Part of discovering your inner sex goddess is to learn how to tap into your sexuality all the time, whether or not you plan to have sexual communion with a partner.

Feeling sexy isn’t the same thing as wanting to have sex right away, but they are linked in some way. Feeling sexy is not a certain formula, but rather a complex concoction of charisma, desire, charm, confidence, composure, conversation, cleverness, and natural attractiveness. Sexiness is a person’s ability to continually inspire the sexual curiosity of their partner, through their appearance and attitude.

How is your desire? Our sexual moods certainly change, sometimes from one moment to the next, and it’s easy to slip into, or out of sex goddess mode. Sometimes you feel geared up for a truly sacred sexual encounter, sometimes you feel like some pleasurable fun and sometimes you don’t feel like it at all! That’s all natural and normal. Feeling sexy is an attitude and a lifestyle and most of use don’t feel that way all the time. Immersing yourself in the ways of the sex goddess can up your desire as well as your courage and willingness to initiate sex when you want it. The two keys to feeling sexy are to have more sex and to live in mindful sensuality.                                               LR MIDLIFESEX LX

It helps to increase your mindfulness and tune into the sensual world around you when learning what makes you feel sexy.  Be present in the moment and notice the aroma, and texture of things. When you meet people notice things about them look them in the eye when you speak to them. Being mindful of the sensual world is a big part of enjoying sexual contact as well as enjoying life itself. Here are some more ideas to feeling sexy and living a sensual life.

  • Dress in a way that feels good. Wear soft pleasing fabrics, clothes that make you feel beautiful and colors you love.
  • Pamper yourself; primp, touch your body, your face and hair.
  • Keep your skin soft with lotions.
  • Keep fresh flowers in the house
  • Sleep on super soft sheets
  • Let your home and body be alters of sensuality and open yourself to all the beauty the world has to offer you.

Use it or lose it. It’s a simple fact that the more you have sex (or pleasure yourself), the more you feel in the mood for sex. If you rarely have sex, your body gets out of the habit of expecting and anticipating it. You may have more difficulty having orgasms, and the idea of initiating sex may never even occur to you. Just as you exercise to keep your muscles in shape, so you can practice sexual physical fitness to keep your desire muscles primed for action.

Remember being sexy doesn’t necassarly mean your out to have sex with a partner, but the energies are related. Strive for mindfulness in you daily life, put yourself first more often and soon sexiness will be oozing from.

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How To Find The G-Spot And The Joys Of Knowing It

Posted on June 18, 2009 by Deliese

Are you still asking the question “where is my g-spot?” and rightfully so with all the hoopla we hear surrounding this mysterious thing that creates so much pleasure. It’s actually known as the “grafenberg spot” after gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg from Germany because in 1950 he noted that some women emitted fluid during orgasm, and he believed it came from the urethral glands. Some people claim the G-spot, which is located on the front vaginal wall, can cause you to climax, and even female fluid emission, in some cases. For few women G-spot stimulation might create a more intense orgasm than stimulating their clitoris. Not this Goddess..LOL. However, most of you won’t have an orgasm when this area is stimulated. So, don’t get frustrated trying or think somethings wrong with you if you can’t. You are perfectly normal. g-spot1

It can be fun and arousing to discover your precise g-spot, or at least try. Especially, if you get your partner involved. Just try not to become fixated on achieving a sexual goal (multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm, g-spot orgasms) One thing I can promise is that this is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of sexual encounter. Remember that sexual exploration is mostly about the journey, not the destination (although the destination is better than most, I’ll agree). Try not to make this another notch in your “sexually self-actualized” belt.

You can usually locate it between one and three inches inside of your vagina, toward the front, on the location of the anterior wall. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger inside your vagina (use lube if you’re feeling a little dry), crooking it forward in a “come hither” motion. When you’re up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of your vagina. You can try stimulating this area with your fingers or a sex toy. You may find it easier to use a sex toy that has a curved shape, such as a vibrator or dildo. Some find it right away, for others it may take several tries. Don’t feel pressured because there is nothing wrong if you don’t feel immediate stimulation. This is normal.

The g-spot has a spongy area surrounding it which becomes engorged with blood when you get aroused sexually, so you may find it is easier to locate when you are turned on. The best positions for this are either lying on your back, squatting, or laying on your tummy.

A few of you might find it harder to stimulate this area with your hands. If this is the case, you can try using a dildo for assistance, and as previously mentioned, a curved dildos work best for this. Squeeze a small amount of lube onto your sex toy and insert it into the vagina with the tip pointing upward toward the top inner wall. Push it slowly inward a few inches until the tip of the dildo is touching and pressing on the front wall of your vagina.

You can try your own experiments using different motions and pressure. You may find that you like the feeling of the pressure in your vagina more, or the tingling caused by the vibration. You will soon discover which feels best to you. You may start with a back and forth or circular motion, but move toward more vigorous movements if sensations increase. You might begin feeling an increased level of intensity, tingling, maybe arousal and possibly even an intense urge to urinate. Begin playing with your clitoris in your favorite motion, and continue stroking your g-spot area until you explode in ecstasy

If you’re playing around and it’s not doing anything for you, try something else, and know that there is nothing wrong with you, and what turns us all on is incredibly individual and unique.

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Body and Self Image-The Sacred Feminine

Posted on May 4, 2009 by Deliese

To know your body, whether you love it, criticize it, flaunt it, hide it or think some parts are great while other parts need an overhaul, is the first step to loving and respecting it. You are on your way to understanding your body’s ability to give and receive pleasure. Many women have a difficult relationship with their bodies. Some obsess about them, some neglect them and some take care of them like they are a precious possession. However you feel, like it or not, this is the body you have right here, right now.

As a sex goddess, your body is one of best tools for apprehending pleasure, connecting to others and enlightenment. Why ignore your body or dislike it when it can bring you so much pleasure?

Do you think you could honor it a little more? Take better care of it? Could you learn to really love it no matter it’s shape, size, age, fat-to-muscle ratio, or its abilities or flexibilities? It’s all you, so why not make the best of it?

When you stand in front of a mirror it is not what you see that creates how you view yourself. It is the thoughts about what you see. Did anyone tell you negative things about yourself when you were a child such as you were fat, ugly, or too skinny?  Did you hear that you would never amount to anything? I certainly hope not. This happened to me and I believed them. For a long time I didn’t like myself very much. I didn’t think I was sexy or very smart for that matter. Others could see the lovable and sexy side of me way before I could. Fortunately, I am learning to love myself and improving my self-esteem was key to my life makeover.pictureaspx2

How can you tell when you love yourself? Think of it like a verb. What do you do for yourself to help you feel good? You know how when you first fall passionately in love with someone else? The same thing applies when you fall madly in love with you. It feels wonderful.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you focus on what you like or dislike? Do you see only the surface you or a deeper you? The more you see yourself in a positive light, the more likely other people will too.

For most of us, building our self-esteem and keeping it strong is usually a project that lasts years, or even a lifetime.  It can feel like taking two steps forward and one step backward. Practice daily care. Start by putting yourself first whenever possible. By all means, love others as well, but speak up for your needs. You’ll have much more to offer others if you’re coming from a place of strength, fullness and honesty.

Exercise: Rewrite your story

If someone has told you negative things about yourself, especially regarding your body or sexuality, write a few down. Now cross them out! Burn them! They are not true. Replace them with positive statements that help you feel better about yourself. Self-acceptance and a healthy body image are critical to liberating yourself from the shackles of low self-esteem and finding the freedom to unveil your inner sex goddess.

Learning to love your body can be a challenge. One study showed 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance. Our bodies can be a tremendous source of pain and suffering, and a tremendous source of pleasure and bliss. Your body is not your enemy or slave. Lest you forget, think about all the delicious and amazing things your body can do and feel. Why not become your body’s biggest fan and let it know you appreciate it!

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How To Give a Blow Job He will Always Remember

Posted on May 2, 2009 by Deliese
Illustration by Édouard-Henri Avril
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The enlightened woman aspires to become the best she can be in fellatio techniques. She is keenly aware that there is incredible power in this skill.    The satisfaction you give him also reaps huge benefits in the relationship as well. Oral sex is extremely important to men because their identity is strongly associated with the  penis. A man who is deprived of receiving oral sex, especially one who enjoys and desires it, will likely feel rejected, resentful and dissatisfied. It is not uncommon for men who don’t receive oral at home to find it in other places and his partner may never be aware of it. Continue reading →

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Sex Tips For Women To Drive Their Men Absolutely Wild

Posted on May 2, 2009 by Deliese
Suzuki Harunobu, detail of a Shunga (erotic wo...
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I have received hundreds of sex tips  from both my male clients and women friends, who shared what they felt were important to them. Here are a few that seem to keep getting repeated over and over.

1. Communication at all times in the relationship will enhance the sexual experience. Discuss your feelings, needs, desires, fears, embarrassments and expectations in and out of the bedroom in regard to all aspects of the relationship.

Good communication will increase intimacy and greater intimacy will lead to greater sex. Express your love and appreciation on a regular basis in and outside of the bedroom. Passion stays alive by verbalizing your desires, appreciation and love. Continue reading →

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How to Have Better Sex and Keep Him Coming Back for More

Posted on April 30, 2009 by Deliese

The one thing to remember in regards to better sex is that it doesn’t happen because of any one particular position, technique or tip. It is the combination of the magnetism you have with you partner, the kind of relationship it is, and the ability to approach lovemaking with an open and playful heart and your sexual skills.

Chemistry isn’t taught but it is very important to have to keep passion and satisfying sex alive. If good sex is important to you and there isn’t any chemistry with your partner you both will be terribly disappointed. This is a real important issue to make note of before making a commitment to a long-term relationship. Continue reading →

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How To Be A Sex Goddess

Posted on April 22, 2009 by Deliese
The lunar Triple Goddess symbol.
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I believe we all have an inner sex goddess deep within ourselves. Unveiling her is a choice we can make in order to experience our aliveness and true essence. Only then can she truly connect with another human being.

All that is needed to begin to unveil your inner goddess is a little attention, not necessarily to your looks or your sexual skills, (although those will be talked about in later posts), but to the depths of your inner spirit. This is where your sex goddess resides. You will find her in your body, your heart, your mind and your spirit. A sex goddess is any woman who pursues knowledge and sensuality, while balancing all the different elements of the internal self. This includes male and female energies, and the urge for creation and for destruction at every stage of the life cycle. Continue reading →

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